#i think that when kiryu lets himself be a dad he's a good one

[todayisafridaynight]

Kiryu is the only good dad in the series that doesn’t get screwed over.

Everyone else is either Kazama’s Norman Osborn lookin ass, a straight up bad dad, a dead parent, or an actually good parent who died.

ill keep it 100 with you anon i think youre going to ruffle a couple of people's feathers by saying kiryu's a good dad

[suosgirl]

Party in the USA (the dayger’s going crazy)

Word Count: 15k+

୨ৎ Read me before interacting!

୨ৎ Characters: Hayato Suo, Haruka Sakura, Hajime Umemiya, Kotoha Tachibana, Jo Togame, Ren Kaji, Mitsuki Kiryu, Akihiko Nirei, Choji Tomiyama, Toma Hiragi, Kyotaro Sugishita, Taiga Tsugeura

୨ৎ Warnings: mdni, gn!reader, alcohol (lots of it), alcohol consumption, weed, weed consumption, cigarettes, ooc (most definitely), shitposting, for fun! – if I’ve missed one, I apologize + please let me know!

୨ৎ Note: I feel very well qualified to write about this. I have hands-on experience and feel strongly about this topic. Please feel free to send me an ask regarding any of my references (I have attended many, many daygers.) This is actually so americancore and niche of me – sorry (not sorry). Also! Don’t be fooled, I hate America!

Hajime Umemiya | “Hey! Hi! Are ya hungry?”

The first face you see when you walk in, all in his shirtless glory

An absolute king at grilling – he’s got burgers, hotdogs, skewers, the works

The lettuce and tomatoes? Yeah, he grew them

Will take every chance he has to tell everyone too

Be careful though – for as much as he’s hot, he’s also a yapper

Being behind the grill unlocks a side of him that not many know – his dad side

“There’s a lot at steak… it’s un-grill-ievable!”

Buzzed & responsible – doesn’t let himself get too lit when he’s grilling

But once everyone’s had their fill and he’s got some downtime? Oh he’s inviting everyone to shotgun a beer with him

Can slam down a can in like 3 seconds no joke

Then, he’ll turn to you with stars in his eyes waiting for your words of praise and acknowledgement (how do you tell him that he did it so fast that you didn't see it?)

Toma Hiragi | “Whaddya drinkin’?”

You’re telling me you WOULDN'T trust this man to get the best liquor for the party?

Gonna go out on a limb here and say that he leans toward either Hennessy or Casamigos

Throws back his shots like a fucking champ – no chase needed (he likes the burn of it)

Definitely a heavy weight, so he’s got at least 2 of whatever he’s drinking just in case

Also doesn’t drink chase because of his stomach, so you know – go big or go home

Never lets you pour your own shots (chivalry isn’t dead, everyone)

And … if you ask him nicely … he’ll birdfeed it to you

Ren Kaji | “Chase is over there – you need help getting it?”

With how much candy he has to inhale on a daily basis, it just makes sense that he would be getting the soda, juice, or whatever pairing he thinks goes well with the corresponding liquor

And he definitely went with Hiragi to pick everything up (so cute)

Also in charge of the playlist for the day (I know his music taste is impeccable)

If you tell him this, though, he’d try to be so nonchalant about it (inside his heart is doing little pitter patters)

I feel like he has little shit tendencies and once everyone is feeling good he’ll see how many times he can queue Party In The USA until someone notices (wears his headphone tho bc ofc he would get annoyed)

Akihiko Nirei | “I made it! It’s really good – want a sip?”

JUNGLE! JUICE! PRO!

I just know he’s got the most insane recipe in his notebook (he’s got the exact measurements and brand names too)

Based on countless interviews, many trial runs, and many hangovers –  he’s perfected it to a T

Literally one cup has everyone on a good one – and he’s somehow got it to not taste like alcohol at all?

So proud of it too – if you tell him how good it is he’s got hearts in his eyes and he’s offering to get you another cup (with your consent of course)

Haruka Sakura | “I just grabbed the first one I saw … is it good? Do you like it?”

He’s new to this you know, so he’s keeping it cute and simple and easy

Besides, you can never go wrong with a pack of seltzers

He’s so cute and flustered about it too –

Like imagine him standing in front of the fridges just looking at all of them and getting slowly overwhelmed by all the different types and seeing that they all have different alc % and it’s getting so confusing

He just grabs one that looks decently good or has a name that seems kinda familiar to him and he storms off

And it’s literally like Twisted Tea or White Claws or something

But, as I said, you can never go wrong with a nice basic seltzer

Compliment his choice (even if you know it was made on a whim) and he’ll blush (he blames it on the summer heat)

Hayato Suo | “Do you want me to get your back?”

Sweet, thoughtful king

Brings sunblock and aloe vera gel because he just knows that everyone else will forget the basic necessities

If you need help getting your back, he’s more than happy to offer his services

Also – who would he be if he didn’t bring green tea shots (it’s a given)

He actually created them not many people know that

It’s always the perfect ratio too – never too strong and never too weak (the perfect balance)

Anyways, also a heavyweight (potentially) but gets just a bit touchy when he’s buzzed

So when he offers to reapply sunblock on you despite having done it less than 30 minutes ago, who are you to say no?

Kyotaro Sugishita | “I need a partner … You any good?”

This man absolutely demolishes at beer pong

Never leaves the table actually (and stays undefeated the whole dayger)

He’s so tall like he’s got built-in stats for it already

If Umemiya takes a break from grilling and comes to join him? Oh they’re absolutely wiping everyone

If beer pong was an Olympic sport, Sugashita would’ve already been scouted

Because he’s so good, he doesn’t even need a partner that’s at the same level as him – he just needs a partner

But – to him, making at least one cup is better than nothing, and if you’re able to do just that? Oh, you’re never leaving his side

Mitsuki Kiryu | “You want a hit, cutie?”

It’s actually canon that Kiryu smokes like I just know it in my heart and soul

Loves to make different blends too, some with rose petals and some with lavender 

His blunts are so pretty too, and he’ll use pink wrapping papers

Also has a small bong just in case anyone wants it in that form — and also edibles

And also cigs

He has money, why wouldn’t he show out?

His lighters all have decoden on them too, and they all have his name spelled on it (he was tired of people stealing them)

Also incredibly respectful – brings his own ashtray that he disposes of on his own

I feel like he transitions a lot of people into smoking for the first time (if they’re interested, of course! Would never peer pressure.)

But …. Oh boy… the way that he would gently tilt your head back to blow a hit into your mouth

Kotoha Tachibanau | “I’m gonna get you so wet!”

Give this girl a break she deserves to have fun!

Stays in the pool most of the time, but also loves to soak up the sun so she’s got her own self-care agenda for the day

Loves water guns! Brings like 2 or 3 of them

Also probably brings a book to enjoy by the pool when she’s tanning

Definitely the type to get the ice water from the coolers and spray anyone who tries to come within 5 feet of her

If she feels silly (and buzzed) she’ll pour jungle juice into them and shoot them into people’s mouths

Takes this time to truly relax and unwind (we love a work-life balance!) – and loves doing it beside you

Taiga Tsugeura | “Don’t forget to drink water!”

Absolutely brings cases of water and liquid IV

He’s all for partying, don’t get him wrong, but he’s also got to hit the gym tomorrow so

Makes sure that everyone’s got a bottle of water on them – his virtue is caring too much

Also decently good at beer pong, but his downfall is that he throws the ball too hard and ends up hitting people like 10 feet away from him in the head

Also strikes me as unhinged, so – if you’re cool with getting pulled into the pool, then he’s definitely your guy

Definitely does flips while diving into the pool to try and impress you (it works)

Jo Togame | “Need some help with that?”

What Sakura may lack in seltzers, Togame makes up in beer

If there’s one thing he knows, it’s a good brand of beer

Also clocked in my mind as a heavyweight, so if he’s up to drink, he’s bringing many many cases

Has a bottle opener that has sentimental value to him – probably one that Choji got for him

Can also pop it open with his teeth (but no one ever lets him because it’s bad)

("Sure, okay, whatever squares" — he listens.)

If he sees you struggling to pop the cap off, he’s already grabbing it from your hand and doing it for you – no questions asked

(Ask him while he’s buzzed, and he’ll do it with his teeth, all while staring into your eyes)

Choji Tomiyama | “Let’s take a shot!”

The first thing he does is do a cannonball in the pool (this is so canon)

If you’re a soju lover – he’s got it!

Brings all the flavors too, but is most partial to yogurt-flavored soju

Is flitting all over the party talking to everyone and anyone

(Tries his hand at beer pong – going to go out on a limb here and say that he sucks)

However! He is a heavyweight!

Can hold his own with Umemiya and Togame for sure

Is definitely the one gathering everyone together to take some shots

Will probably ask Kaji to play Shots by LMFAO and Lil Jon every single time (after the first time, Kaji starts ignoring him)

If you’re open to shots, is absolutely pulling you by your arm to take yet another one

[yakuzacanons]

Hiiiii!! Could I possibly ask for the boys reaction to their S/O being pregnant (if you're comfortable with that)? Your writing is so good aaahhh fuelling my Ryuji brainrot

CRACKS KNUCKLES yes I'm down for some sweet adorable fluff. Also Ryuji brainrot never ends, does it lol. Sorry for the delays, this one took a while. Enjoy!

Kazuma Kiryu

Has the calmest reaction of all the boys. Is quite happy to be having a child of his own. Pretty prepared for what's to come and generally remains calm throughout. Is noticeably more gentle when hugging you.

Majima Goro

His initial reaction: "I'm gonna have a kid?!". His reaction following that: "I'm gonna have a kid!! Hell yea!". Nervous as hell, maybe more so than you, but also just as excited. He's gonna go tell Saejima right away too.

Saejima Taiga

A mix between Kiryu and Majima's reactions. He's happy, frankly overjoyed, at the prospect of a family but he is worried. He hopes he can be a good father and a good partner to you in the process.

Akiyama Shun

Honestly, he's kind of like "Well... that was going to happen at some point". He's not against the idea of kids so don't take it personally if his reaction is kind of middling. It's honestly just something he expected to happen eventually with a long term partner. Takes it entirely in stride but is nervous deep down.

Tanimura Masayoshi

Surprised but isn't shell shocked. If anything, his reaction is to start getting serious about his work and finances. He'll start caring more about his health too and say stuff like "I gotta do better if I wanna be a good dad!". His dedication is admirable.

Ryuji Goda

Probably has the loudest reaction of all the boys. He is EXCITED. Ryuji doesn't seem like a family guy but the thought of having a little kid running around just gets him happy, he can't explain it. Maybe it's just because he loves you so much. Hope you're ready for an Omi celebration too.

Nishikiyama Akira

Openly nervous about it. He is excited by the prospect of having a family but he has a lot of worries as to whether or not he should. A lot of it has weird ties to his own childhood and Kazama. He'd never fault you for it as he knows this is something he has to deal with but you'll catch him mulling over it now and then.

Daigo Dojima

Overjoyed. There's no other word for it. Out of all the boys, Daigo is the one that's always actually wanted a family ever since he took over the Tojo Clan. Unlike Ryuji, he'd keep the celebrations private with you as he sees this time as deeply intimate for the both of you.

Mine Yoshitaka

Calm on the outside, panicking on the inside. Mine honestly never had expectations for romance let alone having a family but now that both are happening, it's one of the few times he's genuinely had no idea what to do. He'll compose himself pretty quickly though. Would help you design one fabulous nursery for the baby.

Tatsuo Shinada

Kind of freaking out about it. How's he going to support a family? How does one even have a family? How are babies made? The man's brain is emptying as we speak. Once the shock subsides, he's happy though. Shinada thinks babies are adorable, even if he has no idea how to change a diaper or anything.

Ichiban Kasuga

Similar reaction to Ryuji. He's kind of like "Hell yea, I'm going to be a dad!". Doesn't know what he's doing but also doesn't care. He's just excited to be on this journey with you. He'll be the most doting partner during your pregnancy.

Tianyou Zhao

Despite his laid back attitude, he reacts super sweetly to the news. He'll just hug you and smile. Words couldn't really express how he feels. Would cook you anything you crave during your pregnancy.

Joon-Gi Han

You'd think he might react badly but he's actually kind of relieved to hear he'll have a proper family. He's been on his own for so long that the idea of familial bliss felt like a fantasy. Out of all the boys, he'll be the first to start suggesting baby names.

[designernishiki]

my friend and I were talking about how disappointing it is that we don’t get any really significant canon interactions between haruka and majima especially while haruka’s still a kid– but then it got me thinking about how they’d interact hypothetically in the present and/or upcoming games with haruka being an adult and all. and like, as much as I still wish there were more canon childhood interactions, I think the way the story has gone its sort of the perfect time period for them to, for one reason or another, find themselves alone together and talk on an adult-to-adult level. Because man do they have shit to talk about.

There’s no two people on earth that have felt more powerful mixed emotions over the years for kiryu, or who have been so diehard in caring about him– moreover, they’d have a strong understanding of one another’s feelings when it comes to kiryu’s hard-headedness and insistence on making choices for them that are, though usually out of love, not their choices, and usually result in him pushing himself further and further away until he’s totally out of grasp. They both love him so, so much and have been hurt so many times by being left behind or pushed away for “their own good” in one way or another, it’d just make sense for them to at some point click and just sorta let it all out like they never really have been able to with anyone else– at least not to such a mutually understanding extent. and all with the simultaneous assumption that, whatever they’ve got resent over when it comes to kiryu and his choices, none of it nullifies that they care deeply for him and by no means think of him as a horrible person– he’s a damaged person who doesn’t quite realize how that damagedness manifests and projects onto others, namely his loved ones.

haruka could probably talk for lengths about how she didn’t really want to be an idol if it meant she couldn’t see her dad anymore, but that decision was basically made for her and changed the course of her life. Or how one time when she was around 14, while daigo was still comatose, he’d taken her up to kamurocho from okinawa and told her they could do whatever she wanted for the evening– and when she called him out and asked if this was because he planned on getting himself killed the next day, he didn’t say no.

majima could talk just as much about all the times he got left behind in kamurocho, mainly with the massive task asked of him to babysit the tojo clan, while kiryu went off to an island somewhere like he may as well have never existed, let alone done a gigantic favor pro bono to allow him to be in such a peaceful state for as long as he was. he wanted to go with him, and to not be that far apart, but kiryu never once picked up on it and all he could do was wallow in the feeling that kiryu didn’t care about him as much as he cared about kiryu.

among many many other examples.

I just think they have a lot to talk about.

[yakuzabrainrotlive]

Started the game and.... ÖAKZJFLALXKSNN. The devs woke up and chose immediate emotional violence. Played up until the part we met The Baby™

I think I'm gonna play on Hard difficulty for the first time. Might get my ass kicked, but I've done okay on Normal all the other games.

Just plot stuff, gonna make a separate post for QOL, UI and random side content stuff!

Literally said "OH NO, OH NO" out loud when I saw this title screen. I can tell this game is gonna obliterate me emotionally.

That light in his eyes? That smile? The soft tone of voice? THAT'S PURE AND UNCONDITONAL LOVE. HE'S SO FULL OF LOVE!!! I LOVE HIM 😭❤️

*remembers this is a yakuza game* Oh dear. Oh lord. Oh shit. PLEASE NO!! LET HIM HAVE THIS PLEASE!! 😭 COME ON RGG PLEASE DON'T... 😭😭

Haruto is.... it's truly one of the names of all time. Not gonna comment on that any more.

Saejima going back in the slammer is kinda becoming a series staple. Y'know, like... The Tojo clan is in peril, Date appears in a helicopter, there's an awful vehicle-related chase sequence and now there's also Saejima getting locked up. Classics.

I.... KEJDKQJSKWK THIS MAN DRIVES ME INSANE. It's always about "taking responsibility", making sacrifices for others so he doesn't "ruin things" or blaming himself for things that have been out of his control.

It makes me so sad that he loathes himself so much for choices he made when he was young. Even though, back in his full-time yakuza days, he was still a pretty damn decent person and he was always trying to stick to the right path.

He's so kind, considerate and loving and I HATE that he doesn't see it. He's always thinking "I could have", "I should have", "I can't"... the anger he has towards himself is. It sure is something. Does he have his flaws? Yes. Is he a saint? No. But he's not even remotely as bad as he thinks.

THREE YEARS??? For those crimes?? RIDICULOUS. Holy shit.

*sarcastic tone of voice* OH JEEZ. I WONDER WHERE SHE COULD HAVE ADOPTED THIS KIND OF SELF-SACRIFICING, SELF-BLAMING ATTITUDE FROM!!

*deadpan stare at Kiryu*

Okay okay, that was a very hyperbolic statement. Let's not be unfair. This kind of attitude can just be a thing that's a part of someone's personality.

But... I refuse to deny the fact that Kiryu has been Haruka's main parental figure from a very young age. She's grown up witnessing and living through the consequences of Kiryu's self-sacrificial tendencies (fresh example: the talk at the beach in Y5 before he leaves Morning Glory).

Kids tend to internalize attitudes, coping mechanisms and behaviors from their parents, especially when they're so close. Haruka thinks Kiryu is a very good person, she admires him. Of course she'd unconsciously wanna be like him in some regard.

Now, this can also just be a thing that very empathic and selfless people would do (and Haruka is both), but... I don't know. This is basically exactly the thing Kiryu did in Y5.

I'm making sounds that resemble sounds that a wounded animal would make. He looked so at peace and so HAPPY for just that single moment. His home is here. This is where he feels he can belong. Be himself. I'm. Ough.

SIGH he's not gonna be back, is he. He's currently in Hiroshima. God damnit. Why must these games hurt me so- NO. WHY MUST THESE GAMES HURT HIM SO. I'm in agony. Just... let him be a silly-print-shirt-wearing dad. Please. RGG. I am ON MY KNEES. I will give you all my earthly possessions.

Kiryu: I'm just here to find Haruka, let's not get involved in this mess...

Also Kiryu:

Okay, to be fair, it was something he had to do to get a clue on Haruka, but 😭😭 come on!!

Also... can't believe Akiyama is the one being targeted by the LA Gangs (AKA the triads) now... Chat, this is so sad. Can we hit one like for Akiyamer.

But for real: I'm actually kinda shook that things are THIS bad. Yeah, Tojo is always in a crisis of some sort. But... their very position as the top dogs in Kamuro not being shaken up? That's a big YIKES moment.

Majima AND Daigo are in prison?? Jeez, is there anyone competent even left in the clan? This whole group is gonna implode. It's gonna be a dumpsterfire.

Also. I WANNA SEE MAJIMA AND DAIGO WITH PRISON BUZZCUTS. PLEASE. DAIGO ESPECIALLY. PRETTY PLEASE😭🙏🏻

MORE YEARS IN THE JOINT MADE YOU A FUCKING GRANDPA

I swear on my entire bloodline that I'm not capping here; I was planning on making a "HARUKA TEEN PREGNANCY ARC" prediction in my previous post, but decided not to. Apollo... for god's sake.

Okay, I do have... OPINIONS.

-I will NOT fully believe this is Haruka's biological child until the young woman herself or a DNA test confirms it.

-I currently think she might have picked up the baby somewhere and took him in. If I HAD to guess.... MAYBE during the Little Asia fire? I'm not even sure if she was in Kamurocho back then, but... there could have been many casualties, including someone(s) who had a baby.

-If this IS her baby... I'm gonna quote Kiryu here; WHO IS THE DAD??

-Haruka naming her son Haruto is kinda funny to me. Kinda like an Erica naming her child Eric. Very small difference. If that's what she likes for him, that's good! I just can't imagine naming my own child like that. Then again, I wanna check if the kanji are the same.

-I don't wanna spoil myself by accident by googling him, but... Haruto seems to be around... 5-12 months old here?? At least younger than 2 years old since he didn't really seem to use any words yet.

>So Haruka would have been, uhhh.... like 17-18(??) while giving birth, if my guesses on both their ages match up. It's not unheard of - not at all - but that's QUITE young. Especially if the dad wasn't/isn't around to help. Idk how to feel about that. I need more info.

For now, I'm going with the theory that this is not her biological child. For my own peace of mind.

[squidcandy]

staring into your soul rn can i hear about your akatsuki headcanons? ive recently come around to loving these little sillies and need some food <3

Oh my god. Where do I beginnn. Opening up the little notes app doc I keep them on

Bulleted list obviously

Keito is autistic, Kuro has ADHD and Souma is the AuDHD poster child

Kuro has a bag that he carries around with him full of safe snacks and noise canceling headphones and fidget toys for all of them when things get bad in the sensory department

Keito and Souma go on morning jogs together. Kuro wants to join them but he sleeps in.

This one is technically canon but. Sleepovers at Keito's house. Souma and Keito drag Kuro out of the futon by his ankles at 6 am

Kuro has a super warm body, and Keito has the heat retention of reptile. He's almost cold blooded. When it's cold, Souma and Keito will stand closer to Kuro/huddle near him to use him as a heater. They do it unconsciously, and though Kuro notices, he doesn't say anything because he thinks it's cute :)

Kuro's sister thinks Keito is boring and lame.

In order to get Souma to check his phone more often, Keito has gotten him a virtual pet app. Souma's virtual pet is very well maintained. Kuro's is dead.

Because Kuro usually helps Keito into outfits, Keito sometimes just stands around pre-interviews/shows, expecting someone to put his coat on for him before he realizes Kuro isn't there and does it himself.

Kuro believes in the philosphy of Anything can be fixed with a good smack. He did this with the TV in the common room, and now there's a big black blotch in the corner from where he "gave it a good one"

Kuro often chews the backs of his pencils and straws, so Keito bought him a chewy pendant and pencil attachment. He worries about how much lead Kuro has consumed.

Souma shakes his head and hands to stim. He keeps slapping people with his ponytail, though.

Keito just needs to do things with his fingers to let the happy energy out, either adjusting his glasses, hair, gesturing, or stretching them.

When Keito is on his own and reading a good book or manga, he'll kick/bounce his legs to stim.

Kuro has sleep fought Souma (who was also asleep) Keito, who was in the sleeping bag to the left of them, felt mortal fear.

Keito's dorm with Hajime and Hokuto Reeks of Lavender and Sandalwood. Hokuto would Like to say something about it, but it actually isn't so bad.

Kuro listens to Doja Cat. He thinks it's neat. He doesn't understand the lyrics very well.

Keito has Banned Doja Cat from the office Playlist. He cannot Get into It (Yuh!). 'It' being his paperwork.

Souma will never know what a Doja Cat is. He thinks Kuro must be hiding some sort of feline in the dojo.

Keito is very good at baking, because he's good at measuring things and following instructions

Kuro usually goes with his gut when it comes to cooking and it tastes great.

Souma has excellent memory and recreates Niki's dishes almost perfectly.

Kuro does his sister's hair and practices new styles on Souma. Sometimes, he'll put clips and things in Keito's hair when he's asleep or intensely focused.

Kuro snores extremely loudly. It's horrible. Dad snores.

Keito will often fall asleep immediately after a performance and Kuro has to resist the urge to pinch his cheeks/draw stuff on his face. He has failed to resist on more than one occasion.

There occasions on which Souma regrets telling Kuro and Keito to include him when discussing things, because this has now extended to the pettiest of arguments. "Kanzaki, tell Kiryu that he needs to put the dishes in the sink as soon as he's done" "it's not that big a deal, danna. Right Kanzaki?"

Akatsuki photocards and promotional materials aren't selfies, but rather pictures that they took of eachother.

Kuro and Keito walk around ES with eachother non-stop. When Keito is in the office, Kuro drops and him off and picks him up.

Kuro tries very hard to get Souma in on his dad joke sense of humor. It has only partially worked.

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

So. Finished Kiwami 2.

I can feel the details fading from my brain already, what the fuck was that. Even without the weird anti-Korean bullshit (seriously EVERYONE is Jingweon except Kazuki and Suyeon bugger this honestly) it was so fucking BORING, I didn't CARE about the fate of the Tojo, let it fall, who cares. The only reason I'm mildly interested in it staying is cause the Omi are worse. I wasn't as invested in the combat but in fairness I got into this series thinking the quick-changing between four unique combat styles was this franchise's gimmick but turns out I'm wrong :) That's fine, it's just one of the main reasons I picked up the game, that's okay.

The game's best bits were Ryuji and Daigo. Also I like seeing Yuya and Kazuki and Sayama, whilst not given the best treatment via the writers imo, is a really cool character.

Oh and Majima Saga was MUCH shorter than I expected which eh, lil disappointing, but I got closure with him and his Sotenbori past so I'll allow it (even though it makes me fucking CRY)

Time for some under the cut ranting:

Why is it that the Jingweon's whole 'death before dishonour, revenge above all else' is simply Bad And Evil And Backwards when I swear like....don't yakuza have similar creeds? Never back down, loyalty to the cause, to the family, debts must be repaid in blood and money alike. Maybe they're go a bit more with it but yakuza aren't above playing the long game for their goals (see Sera and Shimano). Is it bad when they Jingweon do it cause they're Korean? They're the bad guys I guess so.

Also WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON WITH TERADA. FUCK OFF. I TOLD YALL I DIDN'T TRUST HIM IN KIWAMI BUT APPARENTLY HIM AND KAZAMA ARE RIGHT PROPER PALS BUT THEN NO HE WANTS REVENGE BUT ACTUALLY NOT REALLY HE REALLY WAS OUR ALLY ALL ALONG?!?!?!?!? FUCK THIS

Speaking of the bastard, Kazama really likes taking two young brothers/comrades and telling them "go make something of yourselves, you have such great potential" but then proceed to give special attention to one of them for SOME fucking reason but then still plays the cool-headed and aloof mentor, like "no I don't play favourites I can't do everything for you" whilst doing Literally Everything For Them and fighting tooth and nail to get them to the top without letting on to anyone that he does actually care. Every day I grow angrier that Nishiki didn't kill him the first time. Fire again, boyo.

Also FUCK RYUJI'S DAD. SERIOUSLY, what is WRONG with dads in RGG games??? "You're saying my own mama threw me away?" "No! I begged her to leave you with me." I BEG YOUR FUCKING PARDON?! WHAT?! I- I JUST- HUH?!?!?!? WHAT?!?!?!!?? FUCK OFF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

But now Ryuji. Oh my God Ryuji. What a character, what a lad, what a man. I don't give a fuck, okay, he earned the title of Dragon, bollocks to Kiryu. And I mean that.

'Dragon of Dojima', 'Mad Dog of Shimano', legends, yes, but inherently tied to and defined by men who ruined their lives, men who don't deserve their names attached to those boys legacies. Ryuji though? He's defined by none but himself, tied to no one, his strength and power and name belonging to him and him alone. The Golden Dragon. By God he earned that tattoo.

So then WHY did they KILL HIM OFF?!?!?!? THEY HAD TIME TO LEAVE, YES RYUJI HONEY I AGREE EVERY MAN OUGHTA BE A LILTTLE BIT STUPID, IT MAKES EM CHARMING, BUT THIS IS SO FUCKING DUMB!!! You are NOT falling apart, you are LITERALLY BUILT DIFFERENT. You make KIRYU look like a twink and he's survived about 17 bullets in his life at this point, you should be able to heal from TWO of the bastards in NO TIME JUST GET YOURSELVES TO A HOSPITAL AND FIGHT LATER YOU HAVE A SISTER TO GET TO KNOW YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR MOTHER YOU CAN HAVE A FAMILY PLEASE DON'T-

And the less we say about that dumb ending the better. skrunksthatwunk already made a good post on why it's bullshit cause Jesus fuckin Christ on a unicycle WHY do they keep trying to but Heterosexual Romance in my Shirtless Men Beating Each Other Up Whilst Pouring Their Hearts Out To Each Other game.

But hey, Yakuza 3 should be fun!!!! Genuinely really excited to see what goes down!!!

[skrunksthatwunk]

yakuza 6 retrospective, spoilers ahead

ok this ain't conclusive but i wanna like. babble about daigo and found family a bit.

rgg has always heavily featured adoptive/found family dynamics. it's a reallllyy common thing for the series. kiryu is an orphan. big man literally starts an orphanage. the series begins with him losing his adoptive family to the criminal underworld and beginning a new one with haruka. the rest of his life is this cycle of violence and protection and failure and it's all real tragic for him. you know how it is. he's got that need to get involved to protect something or someone or some principle and along the way the people he loves get roped in and he always, always messes up just enough for people to die where they technically didn't have to. it's essential to the series that kiryu can't leave well enough alone, or at least that others can't for him. and because he's basically invincible, the main thing at stake for him and for us plot-wise is his emotional state. who will he lose, how much will he hate himself, what new drastic step will he take to cut himself, the tumor, from the bodies of those he cares about, etc.? he gets involved for family and is tortured by it. those adoptive relationships are essential to the games' narratives.

but throughout it all there's been a kind of tension, a hesitance to treat these adoptive families as equally legitimate to bio families. every time kiryu speaks about kazama or haruka speaks about kiryu, there's this kneecapping thing going on. it's always "i consider you to be sorta exactly like a father to me emotionally and whatnot even though we're not "real" family or whatever" rather than "you are my dad". even (to my memory, so if i get this wrong it'll be REAL embarrassing) haruka and kiryu, whose father-daughter relationship is vital to his entire saga (particularly yk and y6 as their bookends) don't declare themselves literal family. it's always "he raised me like his own daughter" or "i viewed you as my daughter". (and even if it is said explicitly somewhere, the kneecapping never goes away).

and clearly the series does see these bonds as incredibly emotionally important, or it wouldn't keep centering them. even other relationships feature this, like saejima and yasuko's devoted step-sibling bond or the hirose family's relationship to their patriarch or the y3 patriarch guy and his adoptive daughter. i don't think a series that saw blood relationships as inherently superior would show these, consistently, as the most precious ones to our heroes. blood is not disregarded (see yuta and haruto, sayama and ryuji, and tachibana and makoto as examples), but found/adoptive families are more commonly positive (in the main plot) and are, i think, considered just as if not more important by the narrative.

so, why the kneecapping? i think it's a social thing. plenty of (and probably most) cultures see blood dynamics as more important than other/chosen families, or even just regular friends. more than that, it's a very vulnerable thing to admit to someone that you view them as family, let alone declare that relationship as official. what if they don't feel the same? what if they want things to stay as-is? that hesitance is, to me, one on the part of the characters rather than the games, though i think that's more of a toss up than I'm portraying it as.

and here's where daigo comes in as the last of these declarations in the saga. daigo is kiryu's son. at the end of y6 kiryu writes that he, without any right to, views daigo as his son. he says he's failed him, but that he has one more request: don't avenge him like a son would a father, because his life's not worth that. when daigo declares the order, he says it was his father's last request not to attack the yomei alliance. he doesn't say kiryu was a father figure or anything or that he felt the same way, but that he IS/WAS his father, and a good man.

he claims that relationship for himself, regardless of whether or not kiryu thinks he's worthy of it.

now, perhaps it's easier for daigo to say this because

1. kiryu's "dead", and therefore can't reject him

2. kiryu already said he felt that way, so in some ways, daigo was more grabbing a hand already offered than reaching out himself.

but i still think this declaration is really important for the series. daigo deems him worthy while still respecting his final wish, in essence forgiving kiryu for his mistakes.

throughout y6 there's been an emphasis the scene itself draws attention to on parent-child, and especially father-son, relationships, and how the parents failed their kids and the kids hurt them back and all that mess. it's about the child's willingness to forgive what the parent can't, something seen in kazama and kiryu, in haruka and kiryu, and in the hirose family. kiryu chooses to finally cut his family off completely because he could never forgive himself for their deaths, regardless of how often they would (and did) forgive him for endangering them. it's the end of his series-long struggle to choose between protecting large numbers of strangers and protecting his little family. by then he's made so many enemies in these escapades that he can't protect them; he messed up too badly to be around them safely now, even if he never set foot in kamurocho again. it was too late. and daigo, having been presented with his flawed found father's feelings on the matter, forgives him like a child (by y6's standards) would, puts his foot down and determines the nature of the relationship himself. he states it as fact, like a patriarch would. kiryu is daigo's father.

i honestly think some of kiryu's inability to leave the tojo alone (in the instances where it is his choice) makes much more sense with the daigo relationship in mind. he was torn between two of his children. on one hand, he had a defenseless girl with no one in the world but him. on the other, he had an adult surrounded by guards and who could, frankly, kick moderate amounts of ass. faced with the need to choose (the inability to split his attention without bloodshed demonstrated time and time again), he tried to choose haruka every time. daigo probably gets it, too. but, though he course-corrected and helped daigo at various key points, he still left the main protection and guidance to others, namely majima. he really wasn't there for him consistently. he was, if any kind of father, a neglectful one.

but daigo says he's his dad. like it's unquestionable.

now, whether or not it's noble or beautiful to accept neglectful parents is not really something i want to focus on much, though I'll outline my thoughts briefly. most people aren't in kiryu's position, and daigo and kiryu likely formed this relationship in adulthood (though they did interact when daigo was young, i think kiryu really assumed the father role later, during/after yk2), which is itself not typical for these relationships (or, rather, kiryu neglected him as an adult rather than as a child, so the effects are inherently going to be different and, i believe, less severe than if a caretaker neglected a child as a child). cases of emotional neglect are even more complicated because they're often unintentional, and kiryu's lack of direct responsibility for him further complicates things. and, really, if choosing a relationship with someone who's "undeserving" is valid by this narrative's standards, i think it could also mean it is equally valid to choose a lack of relationship to people, to tell the people who raised you "you are not my parents" if it is better/true for you. when it comes to forgiving lackluster parents, my view is that the individual's choice is what matters most, rather than what they choose specifically. in this case, daigo sees kiryu's regret and acknowledgement of his failures and forgives him, thinks him a good man. is this too lenient? perhaps. i find it endearing because i love kiryu, but the broader implications could be weird. idk.

my point is that daigo, and by extension, y6, believes that, regardless of if anyone's "worth it", and regardless of if they're related to you, if that relationship means something to you, it's yours to describe as you wish. your family is what your feelings make it, and adoptive families don't have to be an approximate of those family roles. they don't have to merely resemble family; they can be family. kiryu may have seen kazama as his father regardless of his crimes, but daigo says kiryu's his father regardless, and in doing so, makes official and defined the feelings they share, even if kiryu's not around to call him his son.

so, let me say it again: daigo is kiryu's son, kiryu is daigo's father, and those words from both are all that matter in proving it so.

[maddogofshimano]

Devoted, Body and Soul: Shimano Boss Rush

Spoilers for Y1

The name of this one is  不惜身命 which is the concept of devoting one's body and soul to buddhist teachings, and another dictionary lists it as "not sparing one's life for a worthy cause".

I know what you’re thinking: why on earth would I translate an event for a character I notoriously want to see as little as possible? Well my friends, it’s a Shimano Boss Rush, so we are actually beating up as many Shimanos as possible! The real main character is Kashiwagi! They just added in a whole new rarity of cards above SSR, now we have KSR 

They released it first with a new Majima card, but he didn’t get an event, so unfortunately you’re gonna see a lot of Shimano instead

Summary: At the funeral of the Tojo Clan’s Third Chairman Sera Masaru, Kazama is suddenly shot. Shimano, finding Kiryu at the scene, accuses him of doing the shooting and orders Kashiwagi and Shinji to catch him when they appear. Kashiwagi can’t bring himself to trust Shimano and fears for Kazama’s life, but he doesn’t have many options...

2005. People are currently gathered at Tojo Clan HQ for the funeral of the Tojo Clan's 3rd Chairman, Sera Masaru... When Kashiwagi heard "Kiryu Kazama has shot Kazama Shintaro" he rushed back to Kazama's side.

Kiryu: Haa!!! <glass shattering> Shimano: Tch! That bastard Kiryu just escaped out the window!

Shimano: Don't just stand there morons! Go catch Kiryu already!

Shimano Family goons: Y-Yes sir! Let's go!

Shimano: (I know Kiryu and Kazama are good allies. It's more likely that someone else shot him, but this turn of events is good for me regardless...)

Shimano: (Kazama's on the brink of death... Laying these false charges on Kiryu is my big chance to kill him... I can't let him escape) Shimano: (Heh... I dunno who went and shot Kazama, but.... they sure put me in a good spot....) (Tl note: unsurprisingly Shimano thinks in kansai-ben, unlike Majima who thinks in tokyo-ben most of the time)

Kazama: Ugh.... Ughh..... K-Kazum... ma...... <collapses to the floor>

Shimano: ...He fainted, huh. Shoulda figured he would with that kind of injury...

Shimano: (Heh... The bullet that brought down Kazama is bringin' down another with 'im....) Shimano: (When Kazama dies here, the weight of that crime is gonna land squarely on Kiryu's back) Shimano: (For sake of gettin' that chance...... Maybe I oughta help him along before the ambulance gets here...) Kashiwagi: Boss! Are you okay!!?? <door gets kicked open> Kashiwagi: ....!

Shinji: Boss... Shimano. (Tl note: he uses ojiki here but good god there's no way to translate that one to english, it's literally "dad's brother" and is generally used for other people's patriarchs, especially higher ranked ones) Shimano: ....Ah. Ya finally showed up, Kashiwagi. Kashiwagi: ...Kazama!? Shimano: As ya can see... He's in an awful state after Kiryu shot him. ....Honestly I didn't know he was so dangerous. Shinji: Kiryu aniki did this....? Wh-What are you talking about?

Shimano: There ain't anythin' more to be said. Kiryu shot Kazama and ran off, just like I said. Shinji: B-But...

Kashiwagi: Shinji... Right now isn't the time for that. We need to focus on getting Kazama medical treatment...! Shimano: Medical treatment? ....Why're ya sayin' that, Kashiwagi. You two are gonna go catch Kiryu right now. Kashiwagi: ...Eh? Shimano: Do your ears not work or somethin'? I told ya, you're gonna leave Kazama to me and go catch Kiryu. Kashiwagi: But boss Shimano..... Shimano: How many times do I gotta say it!! Go catch Kiryu!!!! Kashiwagi: ....!

Shinji: Wh.... What do we do? Kashiwagi-san. Kashiwagi: ....Shinji.... I'm going to help Kazama-san. You should call an ambulance.... Shinji: Y-Yes sir! <Shinji leaves> Kashiwagi: I've entrusted Shinji with handling Kiryu. I'm going to stay here. Please let me provide aid to Kazama.... Shimano: What was that? Kashiwagi: (......There's no way I can trust Shimano. I know he'd love to see his hated Kazama die....) Kashiwagi: (Therefore, no matter what I have to stay here with him.... I can't let him out of my sight until that ambulance gets here) Shimano: Do you understand how badly your patriarch has been shot? And you still can't bring yourself to hate Kiryu? Huh!? Kashiwagi: ...To me, the most important thing right now is my patriarch's life. I can deal with the perpetrator afterwards... Shimano: ...Ya know, you're awful calm after your patriarch just got shot. It's almost like ya knew this was gonna happen. Shimano: That must mean... you're one of Kiryu's accomplices, ain'tcha? Kashiwagi: ....I'm no one's accomplice. I just want to save my patriarch's life. Shimano: If that's true, leave Kazama to me and go hunt down Kiryu!! Shimano: Get goin' to catch him, or I'm gonna kill ya!! Kiryu's the man who killed your patriarch!! Kashiwagi: ...Boss Shimano, I can't leave this to you. Kashiwagi: This whole time you've been trying to help my boss... You've been acting suspicious, and it'll raise doubts. Shimano: ...I'm suspicious? Kashiwagi: ...Yes. Kazama is the Tojo Clan's captain... and he has a lot of sway over who's the next chairman. Kashiwagi: If he dies and it's just you there... well that would make you the next in line... Kashiwagi: I wouldn't want there to be some misunderstanding that something seems strange. Shimano: ....Let 'em have their suspicions, it's fine! Kashiwagi: No... that's not true. Kashiwagi: If you raise that many doubts, the the Kazama Family will have no choice but to protest against the Shimano Family... Please, just leave Kazama to me. Shimano: .......I see. Shimano: Kashiwagi... Ya really are Kiryu's accomplice, ain'tcha? Kashiwagi: ....Eh? Shimano: ...........All this desperate fishin' for an excuse, all so ya can be alone with Kazama and have a chance at your target..... Shimano: All of that, just so ya can be alone to finish the guy off, right? Kashiwagi: No, that's not... Shimano: I ain't fallin' for your shitty excuses... You ain't gettin' me to leave Kazama. Shimano: Since I ain't movin'.... and you're lookin' like an accomplice to Kiryu... I'll kill ya. Kashiwagi: ....!

Kashiwagi: (..........That plan didn't work. Even though I tried to flatter him, he's still going to force me out of the room.) Kashiwagi: (Kazama-san's life is in danger.......) Shimano: Hey.... What are ya doin', Kashiwagi? Kashiwagi: ............I won't allow myself to be separated from Kazama-san either. I'll protect Kazama-san, even if I have to risk my life to do it.

Shimano: ...You. Still stickin' to the medical aid excuse to finish Kazama off, huh? Kashiwagi: You're wrong... This is for the sake of my patriarch.... Shimano: Only a moron would believe that!! I won't let you kill Kazama... Kashiwagi!!!! <EVENT>

Shimano: Rahhhh!!

<impact noise> Kashiwagi: Guh....!

Shimano: Haa... Haa... You're a tough bastard.... just.... go down already.... Kashiwagi: Guh... Haa.... Haa..... Shimano: Ya haven't hit back even once... how long do ya plan on endurin' this-- <ambulance siren> Shimano: That noise...!? Kashiwagi: ......It looks like..... the ambulance finally made it here, huh. Shimano: Ambulance!? Tch... So that was your plan... Kashiwagi. Shimano: ......When he's handed over to the ambulance, the question of which of us had remained by his side becomes moot... Shimano: You.... this was your aim all along? Kashiwagi: ...Yes sir. In order to prevent any weird rumors from starting about you sir... The only thing I could do was stay here too.... Shimano: But if ya hit me it would cause problems for your patriarch... Shimano: And since ya didn't know when the ambulance was gonna show up, you were just gonna let me keep beatin' on ya while ya waited? Kashiwagi: You... suspected I was an accomplice in this... so I needed something to make you understand I wasn't your enemy....

Kashiwagi: If I could... get Kazama-san onto that ambulance safely, then... I thought you might believe me on that as well... Shimano: Kashiwagi... you.... (Tl note: Shimano keeps using おんどれ for his "you"s which is a derogatory osaka dialect variant) Kashiwagi: .......... Shimano: .......Ya got some serious balls. In light of that kinda resolve, I'm gonna believe what you're sayin'.

Shimano: ....Well, I leave Kazama to you. <Shimano leaves, Shinji enters> Shinji: Excuse me! Kashiwagi-san! The ambulance just arrived!

Kashiwagi: Shinji.... Get Kazama-san to the ambulance quickly... Shinji: Kashiwagi-san!? What happened!? These injuries... Don't tell me it was Boss Shimano!? Kashiwagi: It doesn't matter what happened to me... The boss... I'm begging you... Shinji.... guh..... <Kashiwagi collapses> Shinji: K-Kashiwagi-san!? Shinji: Shit...! Hey! Over here! Get the EMTs here fast! <cut over to Shimano> Shimano: .........Of course, I should have expected as much from the captain of the Kazama Family.

Shimano: ....Heh, ya owe your loyal henchman for your narrow escape from death, Kazama.

<EVENT END>

Bonus stuff:

First of all thanks to @namoami​ for looking this one over! Any remaining mistakes are entirely my own haha. I love Kashiwagi’s very good attempt at talking this one out, even if it didn’t work. He’s a pretty smart guy!

Secondly here’s the Majima KSR (that I blew 3k diamonds on in a futile attempt to get ;-;)

Majima Goro (Kiwami) - Mad Dog of the Spotlight

Fats Clan spent a long time speculating what KSR stood for, and here are my favorite guesses: Kissably Super Rare Kiryu Super Rollercoaster Kazama Slurping Raisins Keep Saejima Relaxed Kool Story bRo Kino Super Rare Kill Shimano Rightnow

and then my roommate said “Oh, like Kiwami Super Rare?” and we all collectively buried our heads in our hands. of course it’s kiwami! the first KSR is literally Majima Goro (Kiwami)!!

and now for the worst thing google translate has ever made me read

[snuggetfish]

Majidad family headcanons..? 🥺👉👈

Say no more 💖 This is LONG so I've put it under the cut!

First off, how many children would Majima want? Frankly, the man’s so happy to be given the chance at fatherhood in the first place that even just one would send him over the moon... but he wouldn’t say no to more. He’s paid enough visits to Kiryu to feel that twinge in his heart, hearing the echo of so many cheery voices around the orphanage. 

So, if it at all possible, he’d love to see his dream about having his own little cuddle puddle of kids become a reality. He’ll maybe slightly underestimate how difficult it’d be to take care of them all, but he’s Majima Goro, moulded by fate to be one tenacious bastard. He’ll pull through, somehow, with the help of a loving partner willing to go the distance with him. However, if he did only have one kid, you can bet they’d be spoiled absolutely rotten. You might think that the roles of good cop/bad cop would be obvious in a crazy yakuza dad+presumably civilian spouse couple, but think again, because Majima is a complete pushover when faced with cute puppy eyes. 

Extra serving of ice cream after dinner? He'll pile gigantic scoops into his bowl and then give up not even halfway through, sliding it towards his child. He can't really wink, but they get the picture. “Who in ever is gonna finish this for me?” Five minutes more at the park? Sure thing, they can have the whole hour and maybe Kiryu-chan might show up in the meantime too so they can... schedule their next fight. No throwing down in front of the kid! I think also once Majima becomes a dad, his priorities shift. Slightly, but noticeably. He still upholds his vicious reputation, but he isn't living at the edge any more, fighting through each day like it's his last, defusing bombs with little regard for safety. If surviving up until now was luck more than anything, with a child in his life, he's going to make damn sure it becomes a certainty. He's got something so very precious to stay alive for.

When they're still very young, Majima would be a great help in comforting them during the night. He typically gets back at late hours anyway and relishes the chance to spend a bit of time with his child, instead of immediately collapsing into a restless sleep like he always used to. If they're awake or crying he'll comfort them as best as he can, even with his whispered voice now hoarser than he remembers it and no knowledge of lullabies... but hey, pop songs will do too. 24h Cinderella anyone? Though if they're sound asleep, he'll stick to just holding their tiny hand for a while, feel it clasp gently around his fingers... 

First things first, the gloves come off, always. "Skinship" is a Japanese word put together from English that I think is great for describing the kind of parent-child intimacy he'd want. On mornings where can afford to sleep in, it wouldn't be uncommon for his spouse to find him on the couch, dozing on and off with the baby nestled on his chest. He's afraid of falling fully asleep and missing the tenderness of the moment, plus his nightmares are not something he'd ever want his child to know... So he'll stay like that, stroking their back and peeking through a lidded eye at his partner who's busy making breakfast. Also on this topic, an idea that occurred to me recently: you know how Majima's tattoo has one of the snakes' heads on the left side of his chest? Well... call him superstitious, but he'd only hold the baby on the right side. Can't have it threatening his sweet pea. 🥺️

What about once they get older? Well probably Majima would start waking up with unexpected “extensions” made this his tattoo, in black marker. Possibly some scribbles on his eye patch as well, which he’ll still proudly wear to work. And if you know what’s good for you, you really don’t want to be the one making fun of a Mad Dog that’s sporting a little heart doodle on his face. Kisses? Yes, absolutely. As we learn from Dead Souls, Majima would not shy away from smooching his child. A “good night” kiss, a “good morning” kiss, a “have a nice day” kiss when they’re off to school. One day the kid complains that his beard’s too scratchy and Majima doesn’t even think twice before he goes back to being clean-shaven. 

I think at some point they would also have to be introduced to the domain they're going to be ruling (though only as children!): the Majima Family. Nishida would be promoted to “designated driver", for a kid all too eager to ride on someone's shoulders while daddy's away in a meeting and the Kamurocho Hills construction site would be getting a new foreman. Their duties would include drawing on the blueprints and shouting words of "encouragement" at the men through dad's loudspeaker, whenever he needs a break. Bet Majima even gets them a little hard hat and everything, custom-made! Ok so it also doesn't take long for them to figure out a fun game to play with the new family members, a hazing ritual basically: show up on the day of their first office duty and annoy the hell out of them. Men were nervous to begin with, but now they're confused and pissed, like who the hell is this brat and who let them in? Kid plays the silent card: doesn't say a word about their name or their dad's, just keeps running around and getting in their business. 

After chasing a lightning-fast kid all around the whole office, Majima comes in and they think they're saved. Surely the boss has 0 tolerance for little intruders.... Though, of course, the intruder immediately runs to daddy and it slowly... very slowly dawns on them. Kid’s grinning from behind a leather-clad leg and the poor newbies have gone white in the face mentally counting how many fingers they're gonna have to give up. But it’s all fun and games... mostly. Of course a Majima descendant would inherit his mischievous nature.

But hey at some point, uncle Saejima comes back. Though Majima’s maybe a little reluctant at first, eventually he can’t but see the value of his kid training with his kyodai in the dojo. For self-defense, but also to develop their athleticism. Saejima’s of course happy to spend time with his niece or nephew, though... you know how in Y4 one of dojo's mechanics is that the students can just skip your lessons if they're not feeling motivated enough? Majima’s munchkin would absolutely do that. Slide underneath the big tiger’s legs and make a run for it! 

I think Majima would find it terribly endearing if the child at some point started dropping Kansai words here and there. And that’s in spite of Saejima chiding him that his own accent is fake and that the kid probably picked it up from the “real source”, a.k.a Saejima himself. Heh, dad and uncle might bicker sometimes, but they both make it clear just how much they love the little one.

Now, raising a child as a high-profile yakuza is obviously not going to be all rainbows and sunshine... I think Majima would love nothing more than to indulge in the cozy fantasy of being an ideal father, spending all his waking moments playing with his kid, putting his energy and creativity to good use, just generally making sure his son or daughter get the best childhood he's never had... but it's a fantasy for a reason, because he's grounded enough in reality to know that it's not going to work out as idyllically as that. 

He's fulfilled his and Saejima's dream of climbing the yakuza ranks, although it's come at the cost of being a notorious figure, with scars both external and internal. How is he going to protect his family? How much time is he really going to be able to dedicate to his kids? How is he going to keep them from walking the same dark path he has? Not a day passes where he doesn’t ask himself all those questions... doubly so on nights where he comes home to find that they’ve wiggled in his bed as well, cozy and safe in his partner’s arms. And it hits him that they’ve already grown up so much and he fears he’s missed out on so much, on making a positive impact in their life...

Ultimately, I don’t believe Majima would want his kids to grow up involved in the yakuza. Yet at the same time he can’t entirely hide his career. Maybe that’s a good thing because it teaches him that it's never as black and white as "if I leave, they'll be safe; if I stay, they'll die". One can raise a child to be strong and, above all, make their own decisions and carve their own path, even as a dad who's for all intents and purposes a criminal. The yakuza are, after all, a fact of everyday living, hidden in plain sight, given how pervasive they are in business and politics. A kid that's seen the flip side of the coin (within reason, because you bet Majima would still be fiercely protective of them) would surely be well equipped for life. It’s what he hopes, at least. If I thought the last ask was long...oh boy. I’d like to deeply thank all my friends off whom I’ve been bouncing these privately ideas for months now!! 💙💙💙 I didn’t think there’d be much interest in Majidad headcanons, but I’m happy to have been proven wrong!

[bi-naesala]

A small request

Fandom: Yakuza Rating: G Warnings: / Relationships: Kiryu Kazuma & Shimabukuro Rikiya Characters: Kiryu Kazuma, Shimabukuro Rikiya Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Hugs, Kiryu being a Dad Summary:

After Rikiya almost dies, Kiryu decides that it's time he gets back to Okinawa. As they're making their way through Kamurocho, though, he notices that there's something wrong with him.

(Also on AO3)

There’s no time to lose. Kiryu has to get Rikiya out of Kamurocho, and he has to do it fast.

He can’t help but to think that he should’ve done this sooner, but he knew deep down that it would’ve been useless: Rikiya was too determined to help, and he wouldn’t have budged. At least he’s managed to convince him to leave this time around.

 Still, he regrets the fact that Rikiya had to come now and not during a more peaceful situation. He had fun showing him around the city.

Maybe after this is all over he can organize a trip; he could also bring Morning Glory’s kids with him too - he’s sure they’d love it.

 That’s a nice thought, but a dangerous one to have right now; Kiryu mustn’t get distracted.

He needs to get Rikiya to safety after all, and he can’t afford to make mistakes.

 Speaking of Rikiya, even though he’s guaranteed him that he’s fine, that he hadn’t sustained any serious injury, he’s moving way slower than he was doing before, which is bad since they’re trying to go as fast as possible, lest someone with bad intentions catches up with them. He refuses to let Rikiya go through that whole ordeal again.

This is why Kiryu suddenly stops in his tracks. Rikiya mustn’t have noticed it, because he slams against his back rather than stop himself.

“Ow!” he exclaims, massaging the bridge of his nose. “Something’s wrong, aniki?”

“I should ask you that,” Kiryu replies, trying to keep a casual tone. Being in such close contact with children has taught him that sometimes even his tone of voice can influence them when asking questions: if he keeps a calm appearance, instead of sounding too worried, nervous or angry, they’re less likely to close up, and more likely to talk. Well, Rikiya is no child, but Kiryu has the feeling that it’ll work for him too.

“Oh?” Rikiya mutters, eyes wide. “Me? Oh, I’m fine, I’m fine…”

He tries to laugh it off, but what comes out of his lips is just a poor excuse of a laugh, which dies down almost immediately as Rikiya sobers up.

“I’m still a bit shaken ‘s all,” he admits then, scratching the back of his neck.

“You’ve been through a lot, that’s normal,” Kiryu observes, making Rikiya nod in agreement, but there’s something more, isn’t it?

“Yeah, I know, but…” he begins, but then he shakes his head. “Nevermind, we don’t have time for that.”

Kiryu’s about to ask him to elaborate, but Rikiya begins to walk away. Where does he think he’s going? He doesn’t even know where to find a taxi!

Besides, Kiryu refuses to let him go without sorting this out.

 It takes him little to catch up to Rikiya, and once he does he grabs him by the wrist, stopping him in his tracks.

“No, Rikiya. We won’t make another step until you tell me the truth.”

Rikiya furrows his eyebrows. “It’s just that I’m mad, okay?”

Good, they’re making progress.

“Mad at who?” Kiryu asks.

At first Rikiya looks conflicted about going on, but eventually he does.

“At myself… I just-- I’m a man, right? I ain’t a kid anymore. I should be handling this better…”

“I don’t know about that,” Kiryu begins. “Many people would freak out more in a situation where their lives are on the line. Actually, I’d say you’re handling things pretty well, all things considered.”

“Right…”

 Rikiya lowers his gaze, but he doesn’t add anything, which makes Kiryu believe that the conversation is overs, but then he continues, this time murmuring his words so low that Kiryu almost doesn’t catch it.

“Could I…”

He stops himself, shaking his head.

“Could you what, Rikiya? Do you need something?” Kiryu insists. He’s so close, c’mon…

Rikiya raises his eyes again, looking at Kiryu with uncertainty.

“… A hug? Could I get one?” he finally says.

“A hug, that’s what you need?”

Rikiya already looks like he’s regretting admitting it in the first place and he tries again to get his wrist free, but Kiryu doesn’t let him, enveloping him in his arms instead, muttering a soft “there you go”.

At first, Rikiya freezes, not expecting Kiryu to actually go along his - dumb - request, but little by little, the tension still inside his body begins to vanish.

 Deep down Kiryu knew it already, but only now it’s gotten cemented in his mind: Rikiya’s just a kid.

In a way, he reminds him of himself. He too had been involved in a plot way bigger than him, and thought that he could’ve handled it well. He was an absolute dumbass for not relying on others from the start, and exactly because he knows how much of a mistake this is, he won’t let Rikiya walk down the same path, even if what he needs to do is to offer him emotional comfort, which frankly speaking isn’t something he still feels very good at.

If that’s what Rikiya needs, though, he’ll readily provide for it.

 Slowly, Rikiya’s arms come to circle Kiryu’s frame, and the two of them stay like this, uncaring that they’re in the middle of the street and that they are definitely being seen by lots of people.

There are way weirder things in Kamurocho than two men hugging, though, so barely anyone bats an eye, leaving them alone.

 Only when Rikiya’s completely relaxed, Kiryu pulls away.

“Better?” he asks.

Rikiya nods, then his expression turns apologetic. “Sorry…”

“You have nothing to apologize for,” Kiryu immediately says, smiling at Rikiya in a way that he hopes will be reassuring. By the way he returns the smile, he must’ve succeeded.

“C’mon, now. Let’s go,” he says then, not having forgotten the reason why they’re out in the open in the first place.

“Yeah!” Rikiya replies, following Kiryu as he begins to walk away. “Man, I wonder how everyone’s doin’ back at Okinawa…”

“I’m sure they’re fine,” Kiryu replies, “but they’re going to feel even better once you come back. They’ll have someone to rely upon.”

Rikiya nods, gravely. That’s a huge responsibility, that much is certain, but Kiryu can see that he feels lighter now.

That hug must’ve worked miracles, because Kiryu feels much lighter as well, almost like he was the one in actual need of it - who knows, maybe it’s true.

 All he knows is that he’s beginning to have a good feeling about this: Rikiya will be safe with everyone in Okinawa, while Kiryu will take care of the rest here - it might be dangerous, but it’s nothing that he hasn’t done before, and he’ll do it again - then he’ll be able to come back to Morning Glory and keep living his life with his children.

Yes, things are finally starting to look up.

[yakuzacanons]

How To Tell When They Have A Crush On You: Yakuza 0-4

Was only a matter of time before I started busting out the cute romance fluff posts. Also expanding to include yet another boy. Let’s get into it.

Kazuma Kiryu: His Smile

Kiryu is not much of a smile person. It’s not that he doesn’t ever feel happy, he just has for lack of a better phrase “resting bitch face”. It’s probably why he gets into fights randomly so much.

He won’t suddenly be all smiles around his crush but you’ll definitely catch him cracking a little smile. He might also make a satisfied “hmph” sound or chuckle lightly.

He tends to close his eyes and nod a little when he smiles. It’s almost as if having a genuine smile is something his whole body feels. He’s just happy to see you, really.

Majima Goro: His Words

Majima is not good at being subtle. He prefers being upfront anyways so if he’s into you, he’ll say something about it. It won’t be as outright as a confession, unless he knows for sure you’d reciprocate.

Lots of pet names and flirtatious exchanges. Almost every verbal interaction will have him replacing your name with “doll” or “darlin’” instead. He’ll also totally slip in some innuendos if you let him.

Compliments are his thing. Obviously if he’s into you he’ll probably already think you’re just the coolest but he’s not one to keep his thoughts to himself. Also get ready to have the “-chan” honorific permanently attached to the end of your name.

Saejima Taiga: His Eyes

The letter S stands for Saejima and it also stands for shy. Always the polar opposite of his sworn brother, the thought of verbalizing his feelings towards you is enough to make him pass out.

He’s a little like Kiryu with the whole “resting bitch face” issue. However, his eyes will instantly soften upon seeing you. Generally he relaxes more around you but you can really see it in his eyes.

He tends to let our relieved sighs when he sees you. Saejima’s almost like a puppy dog in a way, he’s very much like “oh good, my person is here”.

Akiyama Shun: His Laugh

Akiyama is always chummy with pretty much every girl he knows and it’s super common for him to slap the “-chan” honorific onto pretty much all girls. What can I say, he’s a ladies man.

With you though, he will let out the most genuine laughs you’ve ever heard. It doesn’t matter if you make the worst pun, he’s all smiles and giggles. Just being around you makes him giddy.

He’ll call you silly a lot of the time or tease you to try to get a reaction out of you, which only makes him laugh more.

Tanimura Masayoshi: His Time

He’s a busy boy. A very busy cop boy. So if he’s making time to see you, you REALLY matter to him. Even if at first he gets to know you via something business related, if he’s into you, you will notice quite quickly that he’s visiting you more often but less so for business reasons.

When he’s not able to physically make it out to see you, he’ll avidly text you. Expect lots of “how’s you day?” messages. Will also send you memes or images that he finds online that make him think of you.

He’ll totally send you selfies while he’s at work. Tanimura isn’t exactly a slacker but he does get a kick out of secretly sending you messages on the job. You just mean that much to him.

Ryuji Goda: His Voice

Ryuji has always been a boisterous man but man he gets loud if he knows you’re in the room. All eyes on Ryuji, especially your eyes. Inside, he’s really thinking “notice me!”.

Unlike Tanimura, Ryuji is one for making phone calls. He may be a busy man but he’ll always find some way to call you once a day. He just enjoys talking to you.

When physically near you, especially in group settings, he will try to get your attention. He says “oi” a lot. Will absolutely become the loudest man in a restaurant when speaking to you. Also probably tells dad jokes to try to get you to smile.

Mine Yoshitaka: His Neck

Now this may sound weird at first, but since Mine is not very expressive, his neck is his giveaway. If you walk in, he will suddenly snap his attention up to look at you so fast that you might think he hurt himself doing so.

He tries very hard to hide if he’s flustered. A big tell is if he rubs the back of his neck with his hand.

If he’s taller than you, he will absolutely bend down to your level. He sees that as a close enough form to physical intimacy, at least in the pre-relationship stages. Also very coy and will totally turn his head to look up at you flirtingly. Silent but deadly.

Dojima Daigo: His Manners

Who’s the boss of the Tojo Clan? He is. And who is above him? You. And he will treat you as such. You’re one of the few if not the only person he defers to. He will always bow when he sees you, even if you two are close. He’s not great with words so this is how he can show you and any other potential suitors nearby that he’s interested.

Also is quite a gentleman. He will always hold doors open for you. Are you heading out from Tojo Clan Headquarters and forgot your umbrella? Not only is Daigo ready and waiting but he will personally walk you out to the car, umbrella in hand, and see you off safely.

He will always ask how you’re doing and expresses an active concern for your wellbeing. It doesn’t matter if he’s about to go into a busy meeting, he will find time to greet you properly.

Nishikiyama Akira: His Hands

He’ll start gesturing a lot. It makes him look bigger and grander, at least in his mind. He’s just also generally more excitable around you and it shows physically.

Whenever he’s out with you, he will always usher you in through doorways by simply extending his hand towards the open doorway and saying “after you”.

Anytime he gets the chance to rest his hand against you, he will. A pat on the head, resting casually on your shoulder, or pressed ever so gently against your back.

Tachibana Tetsu: His Breathing

Tachibana is very good at restraining himself. Sometimes he’s too good at it. Until he can confirm how you feel, he’ll hold his cards close to his chest. But you’ll catch him sighing as you leave or excitedly inhaling when you arrive.

Although he doesn’t talk much, when he does he’s usually so well put together. With you though, he might trip over a word or two. If you flash a smile at him, especially if he for some reason makes an attempt to say something funny, his chest will swell with pride.

His shoulders relax in your presence. Any tenseness from his day at work just melt away and he can breathe easy when he’s near you.

[itsybitsylemonsqueezy]

So I finished watching Yakuza 7: Like A Dragon. Spoilers under the cut. 

(Mainly positive take, some criticisms. C+/B I’d give it.)

So, first of all, I didn’t play it, I just watched people on youtube so my perspective of gameplay should be taken with a grain of salt. But I really liked the turn taking fighting style! Like a real JRPG, I thought it was fun, it seemed fun anyway, and the strategies to JRPG make more intuitive sense to me than fighting games, which I don’t know at all. I did end up missing the hand-to-hand combat like... aesthetically and it kinda breaks universe rules a little. But, like, Ichiban seeing combat as a sort of heightened fantasy reality actually helps with that and the plot still treats us like average combatants. Like, there’s still no murder, despite a lot more weapon use, including guns. So... it’s a little sad and weird universe-wise, but seems fun to play. 

Ichiban is a great protag! Definitely not Kiryu! He has two dads, like 8 spouses, a lot of hair... He’s only 7 years younger than Kiryu and that’s... that’s a choice ^^; But he’s got a lot of good things going for him and I like his build. Interesting rage-grief he has going and a thing about revenge that Kiryu never had. And I like that actually, I like that Ichiban gets hit with different things than Kiryu did, but he still has flaws. Kiryu was never blind with rage the way Ichi got, but then, Kiryu also didn’t save his brother. Like, they have VERY different shit going on, which is GOOD. So I’m kinda annoyed that in the end we took Ichi’s dad and brother, just like Kiryu’s? Like... damn :/ Lame. Lazy. 

I love Ichi’s team! I love Adachi, Nanba, Saeko, Joon-gi, Zhao. Top notch peeps! I like that they all just like him and are here for a fun adventure with him. They’re all here for something different, which is also really cool. Zhao is sort of redefining who he is in... retirement I guess? Trying out being a companion rather than a leader. Saeko is longing for family, connection, a place to belong. Adachi was here to accomplish a goal, to restore his honor and provide justice. And Ichi’s been a big help to that. Joon-gi is... a whore. I’m sorry! He’s just this beautiful, obedient man who’s just here on lend and he does whatever the fuck you say. Do not put him in charge of decisions, he’s terrible at them, but he knows a lot and has a vast network. But he appears just to be here to serve everyone’s needs, so to speak, and to moon after Ichiban like everyone else. And Nanba. Nanba hates adventures. He hates germs. He hates people and friends and danger and doing things. But he’s here. Because Ichi makes him hate things a little less. Nanba is a cynical, cowardly bastard, and Ichi’s a fucking sunshiney idiot always trying to fix shit that isn’t his problem. And he makes Nanba get up and fight. He makes Nanba believe in tomorrow. Nanba doesn’t trust people, Nanba doesn’t hope. He’s a pessimist and lives only to complain. But he is first in line to get shot for Ichiban every fucking time. He’s always the first to Ichiban’s side when he’s in trouble. Leaving and betraying Ichiban broke his fucking heart and my ship is probably showing A LOT here but I don’t care. I fucking love Nanba, I love his arc, I did NOT see it coming. And they are definitely my ship out of this. The fact that Nanba without fail is always the first to put himself in danger for Ichiban guts me. With how much he doesn’t believe in good things ever happening, it destroys me that he’ll dare it all for Ichiban. Fucking wild. 

I thought it was cool to bring up a political villain, but... we didn’t really carry through on Bleach Japan’s thematic importance. We revealed them to be cruel and hypocritical, but we didn’t end up actually saving the slums or proving why the slums needed to be saved and that’s... kinda lame :/ 

I was really hoping that we might make a stand on why grey spaces were needed, on why organizations like the yakuza are needed but instead we... disbanded? And I don’t even know why? 

Like, it was to fuck over Ryo Aoki. But... he was a TEMPORARY problem. All you had to do was move the organizations underground until he was unseated, which the Tojo already was??? 

But instead... we brought down Tojo and Omi and... WHY?! Like, SERIOUSLY, can ANYONE tell me WHY! Because I have a LOT OF FEELINGS about why that’s a BAD CALL.

What are all those guys going to do now? “Oh, we’ll just make a security company” YOU’LL WHAT?! THOUSANDS of guys used to shake downs will now be hired to patrol rich estates and cover banks and business buildings?! Fighting WHO, themselves?! A LOT of that job is just watching some fucking cameras, what... what the fuck are you talking about Watase?! 

But I guess that’s still better than Daigo’s “I have no fucking idea” plan

NO WONDER Majima’s depressed at that funeral you JUST TOLD HIM his new job is BABYSITTING SOME RICH FUCK’S BUILDING. Fuck you guys! 

And HAVE WE LEARNED NOTHING ABOUT POWER VACUUMS?! CRIME doesn’t disappear just because there’s no one there to manage it! That just means it gets worse! And rasher, crueler people grab power in the interim. Smaller but rougher groups will appear. More and worse crimes will happen now. You just disenfranchised thousands, not all of them are going to come with you to play security detail and not all of them WANT to. So why EXACTLY did we disband the yakuza? What problems did that solve??? 

What about all that shit about the yakuza being a home for people who didn’t fit in? What about people who fell through the cracks in the system, who don’t have anywhere else to go? 

If the yakuza, as an idea, was so fucking bad, WHAT WERE THE LAST SIX GAMES ABOUT?!

You can’t have an established series that accepts the idea that crime and violence are sometimes necessary or are even good things and have a compelling protag who does that, ONLY to turn around at the last second and pretend like it was always wrong!

If you were gonna act like the idea of organized crime is a Bad Thing, THEN THAT NEEDED TO BE A CONFLICT FROM THE BEGINNING

But you didn’t even do that!

We DIDN’T disband the yakuza because organized crime is inherently morally corrupt, no we disbanded because some prick thought he could use us! A PRICK WHO IS NOW DEAD! THE FUCK?! 

And DON’T GET ME STARTED on how this reframes Kiryu’s narrative. KIRYU WASN’T RIGHT FOR LEAVING YOU FUCKING BASTARDS. 

THE WHOLE POINT OF KIRYU’S ARC WAS THAT HE WAS FUCKING WRONG TO ABANDON HIS RELATIONSHIPS I- *screams into pillow*

AND why does Kiryu need to be dead now?! There is no more yakuza! Who does he need to hide from?! 

OH no wait, my mistake! We didn’t disband ALL the yakuza, just Omi and Tojo! You know, the two biggest cities in Japan. I’m sure THAT won’t have Fucking Consequences. But Kiryu still has to be dead for uh... Reasons.

This was just such a fucking dumb universe-building move. It’s not been thought through, it betrays the whole point of the franchise up until now, and I’m honestly just mad that they didn’t even feel the need to address it? Like, the yakuza’s just gone now, but it’s whatever. Who would even care about that. Like, that’s not going to be a plot point next game. It won’t matter, at all, I promise you. All of the in-universe implications this has, none of it matters. And I’m not even mad I’m just... tired. And annoyed a little. that you can’t be bothered to tie up your own rules. You won’t give your own writing decisions weight and that’s just... kinda sad. It’s just lazy and sad that they don’t care enough to connect the pieces. But I’ve had my heart broken enough by yakuza writing decisions. Of course they would do this, of course they haven’t thought enough about their own series to really consider what ending the yakuza would mean. Why would they? 

I’ll still watch the next game. Like, Ichiban is likeable enough and I’m interested in his arc enough that I’d play or watch next time. But... *sigh* We’re the Yakuza series with no yakuza. And y’all gonna act like that’s a good thing or pretend it doesn’t even matter. And I really don’t know what to do with that since you haven’t bothered to examine it either. 

On a nice Kiryu note, I did like that he was scaled appropriately, I like that Ichiban is Wiped Out after almost every fight. He’s a good fighter, but he has human endurance. Kiryu’s still god. He hits the hardest out of anyone you fight and you Don’t win and that’s As It Should Be. I’m REALLY glad they at least let me have that. I’m glad they let us fight Kiryu and we passed and it was a cool passing of the torch. I was so worried they were going to destroy Kiryu’s legacy and at least they didn’t do that. 

The coin locker baby thing... it was cliche and convenient, but in the way that Yakuza is cliche and convenient and melodramatic and over the top. It was sort of fitting and familiar that way. Shame we ended Swashiro like that, I think we could have done more and cooler shit with him but, eh. 

SPEAKING OF MORE AND COOLER SHIT

...all that effort, just to kill him? Alllllll that long time, that hard conversation, that break down with Ichiban... just to kill him. Just to make him Nishiki, all over again. 

I... fuck you. 

Why do you refuse to write a goddamn redemption arc

Fuck, you don’t even have to write it, have it happen off-screen if you’re so fucking afraid of it. Just have him recuperate in a goddamn hospital and, I don’t know, by next game just show that he’s doing better and is getting therapy and whatever.

Jesus fucking christ, he doesn’t have to MATTER in the next game just... don’t kill him. Jesus. Please.

All that fucking work and you’re STILL going to give Ichiban the trauma of losing someone he was trying to save. 

I just... it’s really gutting how much you don’t like your characters and you don’t like to write and you’re cowards. You won’t take risks. You’re too afraid of fucking up so you won’t do what the narrative calls for. 

Killing Masato was lazy-ass, punk-ass, coward shit and I wont’ stand for it. I did not expect to care about his ass by the end but you guys REALLY made an effort in making him a three dimensional character there at the end and explaining why Ichi would care about him and I was willing to come with you! I was willing for us to invest in this dumbass. We walk him all the way up to the edge and step him back. We let him let go. And then you just. fucking. gave up. You goddamn cowards.

I’m so tired of this shit

For all that, it was genuinely a really fun game and a really fun story with a lot of likeable characters. I think a solid C+, even a B. I really did enjoy most of it. It’s just... in usual Yakuza style, they only fucked up 2 things but they were a REALLY IMPORTANT 2 things. 

Oh and I did like the fact that Ichiban Still Doesn’t Know. No one tell him.

[shewasanamericangirl]

screamin bout zi-o 36

i had fun doing this last week, so let’s make another screencap post! of course, i said that, and then it took several days to upload all the pictures because tumblr just stops fucking working sometimes. anyhoo! it’s yuko kitajima roast hour. image-heavy and spoiler-heavy, naturally.

so ginga blew everyone up and they ran away to a sewer it seems.

honestly that theory makes as much sense as anything else on this booty ass fuckin’ kamen rider show

i was just like...he isn’t

but then he was

swartz: she could step on me in those red pumps and i’d say Thank You

hora: i regret so much right now

uhr: *shonen anime character walking down the street pose*

then over quartzer plays and im starting to feel a little lost because i don’t get to hear about the episode according to woz’s book? hello??

yuko’s still out gettin her spa treatments and shit, god only knows how she got the money for all that, and somehow she never crosses paths with the cops or anyone who recognizes her from the news?? uh

honestly yeah?? a queen deserves to look GOOD. her theme music is eerily sexy, i need an mp3 of it right now

don’t get me wrong, im well aware that swartz is being a suck-up to try and get yuko to help with his plan to seize ginga’s power, but damn im kinda shipping swartz with yuko now too...i mean, he WAS looking at her while doing the sexy ice cream thing last week. what flavor ice cream would yuko be? black cherry chip maybe?

(headcanon: woz tries apple pie ice cream and declares it a crime against both apple pie and ice cream alike--but he still eats the whole coneful)

hora and uhr get ZA WARUDO’D down the stairs by swartz

we were all uhr right here

yeaaaaaah she just doesn’t want to fight ginga

tsukuyomi’s a mood. someone put a band-aid on geiz’s forehead pls

ok woz i get that if you’re looking for a despotic ruler to follow that yuko is likely a better bet than sougo, but you’re missing an important detail: if yuko actually had a shot at becoming queen of everything, she’d already have one of you in tow, and you would most likely hate each other.

...majou means “demon queen” in this case, not “witch”, right?

aaaaaand this...is the moment when yuko started making me very uncomfortable. the way she responds: “yes...i do remember. it’s you.”

and sougo’s face just lights up--my guy, she could so easily be lying. she didn’t say one thing about the band-aid or the playground or anything that’d indicate she’s actually sougo’s crush.

like...if not for the fact that sougo had such a crush on the seifuku girl, it wouldn’t be all that major a memory. it likely wasn’t for the girl in question--just a happy sunny day cheering up a lonely little boy. a beautiful memory, yes...but memories fade.

can someone please explain to me why woz’s characterization is all over the place in kiva arc? are you pro-yuko or anti-yuko, woz? i don’t understand what’s going through his pretty head at all honestly. he gets pretty taciturn in the scenes he’s not inhaling pie, but then at times he seems to think yuko’s cool aaaaaagh i don’t know

junichiro: meowing, just wanted an excuse to cook lots of food

sougo: “yay, uncle’s cooking!”

woz: [deadpan monotone] “yaaaaaaay uncle’s cooking...”

ive had enough of this evil bitch honestly but when she points it’s still Good Shit

ridiculous move name, but also an awesome move name

and turning to stone to heal up while the sun’s clouded over? very cool

denied

i noped so hard at this part. like...i really do feel protective of sougo. yuko doesn’t give a damn about him, she just doesn’t want him to get in her way.

nope. no. nuh uh. you two step away from each other right now.

YOU CANNOT MAKE BABIES WITH AN IDIOT FETUS

ok but in all seriousness, do you want time jackers? because, im calling it now, letting oma zi-o go in raw is how you get time jackers.

yeah im pretty sure miho would’ve kept at it if she’d lived, and yuko...shes not gonna listen to sougo

thank you for the much needed reality check furry man

so she’s a...fu-joshi? 👀

☝☝☝

yuko wears such fabulous shoes

was anyone surprised at this point that yuko was the real killer? i sure wasn’t. not after all the obvious lies.

i love her leitmotif. i need it. where do i download

SHE DIDN’T PROMISE SHIT

hey kids! it’s time for *mashes play button* la-la-la lies! yeah, tell me that you love me! la-la-la-lies! look deep into my eyes! la-la-la-lies! say there’s no one else above me! i’m the king of fools, cuz baby, you’re the queen of actually very hurtful and manipulative lies!

that’s such bullshit

now im the last person to be like “don’t play the dead mommy card”--i practically keep that card in the hello kitty wallet my dead mommy gave me. but i bet you yuko’s mom is just fine (aside from living with the trauma of knowing her daughter’s a murderer and pathological liar).

sougo,,,,,pls

thank you tsukuyomi. god sougo really needs a chaperone with yuko around, he’s way too dumb and thirsty.

GUESS WHO’S BACK. BACK AGAIN. fortunately, it seems swartz and woz have been just standing there watching him for the duration of the rain shower.

lest we forget (because i didn’t screencap it), when zi-o took the brunt of ginga’s attack earlier, it sent him flying. now, that’s a human body, which has some ability to absorb force because it’s mostly pretty soft and fluid. yuko’s manhole cover almost completely absorbed this blast--she barely shifted her weight on impact. is it just that she’s THAT ripped? 

then The Boys rider kick ginga to oblivion. rip ginga, you didn’t have a personality or a character arc, we never even saw you un-transformed--you were just a cool looking plot device with pretty attacks. but for that much, we appreciate you!

swartz looks so pleased with himself. he must not have watched the preview for this episode.

YOINK! gotta love how swartz doesn’t look surprised so much as puzzled.

sure am glad kurowoz took his other self’s advice and kept an eye on swartz

i love it so much how woz just has these magic scarf powers and it needs no explanation? hell, he can fly and time travel and make people fall asleep and he’s super strong too, with no explanation? and he’s the comic relief? ALSO HE’S REALLY HOT? woz is a being to behold honestly

speaking of super strong and really hot, yuko is KILLING IT in that gown. i mean...i guess that’s the intention. killing it. cuz she’s a homicidal maniac. haha.

she’s so good at pointing. yuko could be a prosecutor in shuichi kitaoka: ace attorney. (FUND IT)

yuko throws her manhole cover at the boys (rude!) and next we see geiz holding it. a shame we don’t get to see him snatch it out of midair. or did woz catch it and just hand it to him? we may never know.

zi-o. listen to geiz, zi-o. use the fucking watch. just use the watch, zi-o. you seriously plan on just letting another kiva go on a killing spree? do you not get by now what she’s capable of?

thank goodness zi-o has his retainers to make wise decisions so he doesn’t have to.

please note the placement of mars on ginga woz’s suit. very important.

I Love You

lmao

WHERE IS YOUR MANHOLE COVER NOW

my favorite character gets a beautiful rainbow final attack. i feel so blessed.

i mean...protecting all mankind would probably include protecting them from people like yuko. just sayin.

is it bad of me that my immediate thought right then was “at least woz’s attack wasn’t what did her in.”

this shot, especially in the context of the church, definitely gave me pieta vibes--albeit reversed somewhat.

weirdly enough, woz does an outro instead of an intro this episode.

at this point while watching, i said to shylax “you know what this calls for? pie!” but before i could finish--

--PIE! cmon sougo, it’s time to gobble up your feelings!

fucking woz, i swear, you have pie in your mouth and pie in your right hand and pie on your FACE and when your overlord expresses how miserable he is you just go for his uneaten pie with your empty hand.

...is it normal to eat pie like this in japan? because the only times i’ve seen americans make this much of a mess eating pie is when they’re toddlers.

oh hey, what do you know? looks like sougo’s first love wasn’t a violent crazy person after all. she also wasn’t yuko.

sougo’s just an idiot who will mistake any older woman who rubs him on the chin and calls him cute for his sailor girl.

previews!

i blame joshua kiryu

how eloquently this one line sums up not only kamen rider zi-o but kamen rider decade as well. that’s it, that’s the show. that’s the clusterfuck we will inevitably get whenever toei decides to make a kamen rider crossover.

LOOK AT THIS! TSUKUYOMI REMEMBERED SOMETHING! who is she smiling at? is it her dad? is that swartz behind her?! omg baby tsukuyomi is so CUTE!

“a team”. uh huh. is that what the youth are calling it these days? cuz when i was a wee lass, i believe they called it “fucking”.

so what have we learned this week?

very little about ginga

sougo does not remember faces all that well

before sougo dates ANYONE that person should be fully vetted by junichiro, geiz, tsukuyomi, and woz because CLEARLY HE CANNOT SAFELY CHOOSE A PARTNER FOR HIMSELF

i still really like yuko as a character, if not as a person. same as i enjoy junji ito manga, but would be very upset if most of it happened in real life.

swartz loves a woman who can kick his ass

what the fuck are manhole covers in this world

i can’t wait for baby tsukuyomi flashbacks! that, and more tsukasa.

[skelabra]

Since you added onto my post I’m assuming you want an actual reply to this. My apologies if that’s not the case.

[Spoiler warning for just about every mainline Yakuza game I guess. This is also kind of lengthy.]

For Haruka: Haruka was basically forced to grow up way too fast because of all the shit that happened in her life but even at Morning Glory she had to basically be everyone’s mom too because she was the oldest (eldest daughter trauma real lmao) and always had to take care of them when Kiryu fucked off to wherever because of Tojo Clan drama or because he wanted to go to prison.

And in Yakuza 5 the orphanage has money problems so either his kids quit school and start working or he sells Haruka to the idol industry and leaves his kids and instead of I Don’t Know, asking his Billionaire friend Akiyama for some cash because he needs to feed his kids he of course gives Haruka to the idol industry and abandons his kids once more. And yes, I understand that he believed he was fulfilling her dreams or whatever, but I think Kiryu had really learned up until then that family is important and that sacrificing yourself for other people’s happiness is useless.

And then in Y6 this dumb fuck goes to prison to free himself of his sin or whatever just to then decide at the end to abandon his family AGAIN and also make them believe he’s literally fucking dead for NO REASON AT ALL?? Like sure yeah maybe he thought they’d be safer without him but I think after what happened in every single one of these fucking games Kiryu should finally grasp the fucking fact that sacrificing yourself for other people’s happiness is useless and ultimately people are happiest with their family even if they’re causing trouble for them. Like somehow he was fighting so hard to get to be with his family but then suddenly playing dead is okay. Not to mention the fucking pain he’s putting his kids through by letting them think he’s died like Kiryu has lost so many fucking people including his own father figure like HE KNOWS how horrible it is to have a loved one die but he’s still willing to put his family through that for no good reason.

And apparently his disappearance/fake death couldn’t have been THAT serious either since he was willing to reveal he’s alive to his old yakuza besties in Y7. (That aside I sure fucking hope his kids know he’s alive too otherwise I’ll strangle this man to death with my bare hands.)

(Also in Kiwami 2/Yakuza 2 where he’s willing to let Haruka watch him die claiming she’d “understand” (That’s a child! You literally lost your dad one year ago and you know how horrible it is!) because he wants to shove his tongue down Kaoru’s throat a little longer.)

There’s probably more instances of Kiryu bullshit I’m forgetting right now haha.

And for Daigo: Kiryu made Daigo Chairman despite the fact he neither wanted that nor had any qualifications in any way for it and Daigo did the absolute best job at it given the circumstances. Daigo was honestly just doing his best to keep that fucking hot steaming garbage pile of a Clan running and Kiryu’s only contribution was showing up every once in a while to leave the Clan in shambles and leave it to Daigo and the rest of the gang to clean up after him. Basically Daigo tried his best to fulfil the task Kiryu left him with and what does that dumb fuck do?? He has the fucking AUDACITY to beat the shit out of Daigo with his dumbass justification being “Oh well the Tojo Clan is such a heavy burden to bear and I’ll show you just how heavy” BASED ON WHAT. WHEN DID KIRYU EVER BEAR ANY BURDEN IN THIS FUCKING CLAN RECENTLY. HE WAS CHAIRMAN FOR ONE (1) DAY AND HIS ONLY ACT WAS MAKING A GUY FROM THE ENEMY YAKUZA ORGANIZATION THE NEW CHAIRMAN WHO THEN TURNED OUT TO BE A LITERAL TRAITOR THAT WANTED TO DESTROY THE ENTIRE CLAN AND HE HAS THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO TELL DAIGO ANYTHING ABOUT HOW TO BEAR THIS FUCKING CLAN?????????? (ASIDE FROM THE FACT THAT HE WAS NEVER HELD ACCOUNTABLE FOR MAKING TERADA CHAIRMAN BUT THAT’S A STORY FOR ANOTHER DAY) THE ONLY THING HE DID WAS FUCK OFF TO MAKE AN ORPHANAGE SO HE CAN HAVE MORE PEOPLE TO ABANDON AND BREAK EVERYTHING IN THE CLAN TO PIECES EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE. AND YES I UNDERSTAND THAT KIRYU DID USEFUL THINGS BY KILLING OFF SHITTY MEMBERS OR WHATEVER BUT HE WAS LITERALLY NEVER IN DAIGO’S POSITION AS A CHAIRMAN THAT ACTUALLY DOES HIS FUCKING JOB SO HE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO RIGHT TO TELL HIM ANYTHING.

AND THEN HE’S LIKE “OH I ALWAYS SAW MYSELF AS YOUR FATHER” YEAH AND HE DID MANY GREAT FATHERLY THINGS SUCH AS UHM. BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF DAIGO AND ABANDONING HIM WITH RESPONISBILITIES HE CAN BARELY HANDLE LIKE MAN KIRYU REALLY LOVES ABANDONING THE KIDS HE LOVES SO MUCH HUH <3

 TLDR: I simply think Kiryu could’ve been a Way Better Father actually. Also I love violence

I think Haruka and Daigo should team up and beat the shit out of Kiryu. Tag Team: Essence of Fuck This Guy

[smol-tired-binch-blog]

Hello :) Welcome back to another episode of Smol Copy-Pastes A Ramble/Rant From Discord And Calls It A Tumblr Post. This week, we’ll be looking at one of my Crying Over Nishiki sessions which ALSO became a full on rant against Kazama! Whoo! Here we go, gonna be another ‘read more’ cause a) spoilers, and b) reeeeally long unhinged ranting about fictional men :D

“LOOK I COULDVE FIXED HIM, EVEN AFTER HE SLAPPED REINA, I'D HAVE BEEN LIKE 'LISTEN BBY I LOVE U IM HERE FOR U BUT GET YOUR ASS BACK OVER THERE RIGHT NOW AND APOLOGISE TO REINA!!!!!'

BUT NOOOOOO EVERYONE JUST HAD TO DECIDE TO BE A HUGE BITCH TO HIM AND BECAUSE THE DUMBASS LASHED OUT AT ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE HE HAD LEFT AND PROBABLY FELT LIKE HE COULDNT GO BACK AND APOLOGISE CAUSE I THINK HIS SELF ESTEEM IS ALREADY LOW ENOUGH BY THEN TO NOT EVEN THINK HE DESERVES HER FORGIVENESS AND THEN YUKO FUCKING DIES BECAUSE KAZAMA IS A FUCKING SHIT DAD AND EVERYONE IS A DICK TO HIM UNPROMPTED AND AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

point is i want to rip Kazama's spine out with my bare hands

hate how the game acts like he's so cool and good when he's really not he failed his kids so so badly ACTUALLY NO THEYRE NOT HIS KIDS HE'S THE ENTIRE REASON THEYRE ORPHANS”

(at this point I moved to the spoilers channel to continue my Unending Kazama Hatred)

OKAY SO TIME TO SCREAM ABOUT THAT MOTHERFUCKER KAZAMA AND HOW THE GAME SUCKS HIS DICK do you have ANY idea how much i hated when they go to Tojo HQ so Tachibana can pay em to leave his sugar baby alone and the old fucker who weve never seen before is like 'u know i'd have paid a billion yen for Kazama when he was ur age. are u worth that much? are u as good as him?' LISTEN HERE CUNT HE IS A BETTER MAN THAN KAZAMA EVER WAS AND EVER WILL BE!!!!!!!

WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHIN SEEING AS HE'S REALLY ANNOYING IN THIS GAME like okay i get it Kazama is a yakuza and ex-hitman i EXPECT him to have done bad shit and it's very nice he set up the orphanage n all but it also isnt cause like bro you murdered these kids parents!!! and idk anythin about their life in the orphanage i'll admit but as an active yakuza i cannot imagine him being the most hands-on, tender, loving parent ever, yknow? ALSO ALSO like i know he tried to stop Kiryu and Nishiki becomin yakuza im just saying YA COULDVE TRIED HARDER MATE!!!! THEY WERE SEVENTEEN YEARS OLD, THEY WERE CHILDREN FOR GOD'S SAKE. KIRYU WAS LIKE 'WHY WONT U LET US BE LIKE U YOURE A YAKUZA U GET A COOL CAR AND PEOPLE RESPECT U LET US TRY AND HAVE THAT' YOURE LETTING HIM SELL HIS SOUL TO A LIFE OF CRIME BECAUSE HE WANTS A FUCKING CAR?????? I DONT CARE HOW STRONG THEY WERE IN THAT FIGHT YA FUCKIN SIT THEM DOWN AND GET RID OF THE ILLUSION OF GLAMOUR!!!!! TELL THEM THEYRE WORTH MORE THAN JUST GRUNTS WHO ARE GOOD WITH THEIR FISTS AND NOT MUCH ELSE, ONE FIGHT IN THE RAIN AND YOURE LETTING THEM JOIN, ABSOLUTELY FUCK RIGHT OFF WITH THAT 

AND THEN HE'S SHOVING THEM OFF TO ANOTHER FAMILY BECAUSE OF SOME POLITICAL BULLSHIT IDK BUT FINE FAIR ENOUGH YA DONT WANNA PLAY FAVOURITES BUT I FUCKING HATE THIS WHOLE 'OH SEEMS DISTANT AND UNCARING BUT ACTUALLY HE THOUGHT OF EVERYTHING AND HAS THEIR WELLBEING IN MIND' I JUST- JUST FUCK OFF!!!!!! 

MAYBE YA SHOULD PLAY FAVOURITES WHEN ONE OF YOUR CHARGES IS DYING VERY QUICKLY AND HER BROTHER HAS NO ONE FOR SUPPORT. INSTEAD OF FUCKIN LETTING THE GUY THEY APPARENTLY SEE AS BIG BROTHER FUCKING REPRIMANDING THE GUY CAUSE HE CANT GET CONTROL OF OR RESPECT FROM THE PEOPLE YOU ASSIGNED HIM AND SEEMINGLY KNEW THEYD BE DIFFICULT!!!!! HOW IS MY BOY MEANT TO ""PROVE HIMSELF"" WHEN HES DEALING WITH THE TRAUMA OF TAKING A LIFE (EVEN IF THE FUCKER HAD IT COMING), THE GUILT OF LETTING HIS BEST FRIEND TAKE THE FALL, AN ACT OF PURE KINDNEES IN CONTRAST TO HIS OWN BRUTAL IRREVERSIBLE ONE, THE STRESS OF TRYING TO SAVE HIS SISTER WHO IS DYING (MAYBE CONTRIBUTE SOME EXTRA CASH KAZAMA??? MAYBE???) AND DEALING THE AFOREMENTIONED DISRESPECTFUL FUCKERS AND LASHING OUT AND HURTING THE ONE PERSON HE HAS LEFT AND BURNING THAT BRIDGE, AND THE GIRL HE KILLED A MAN FOR HAS LOST HER MEMORY AND VANISHED (WHICH YOU HELPED WITH KAZAMA!!! YOU KNEW SHE WAS SAFE!!!!), 

AND THEN THE GRIEF OF LOSING HIS SISTER FOR NO. FUCKING. PURPOSE. HE SOLD OUT HIS REMANING MORALS, HIS PRIDE, ANY RESPECT OTHERS MAY HAVE HAD FOR HIM ALL TO SAVE HER AND IT FAILED. HE WENT THROUGH ALL OF THAT ALONE. YEAH I'D HAVE FUCKIN TURNED EVIL AS WELL!!!!!!!

im not sayin Nishiki is fully free of blame, obviously, he made his choices, and murdering Reina after using her love for him to further his own ends AND killing Shinji and ALL of the shit he pulls in Kiwami, yeah, completely fucked up, horrible, his choices, he did that shit. im just saying that i dont know, maybe if ya wanted to step in at any point in the last ten fucking years Kazama (preferably before that too), ya couldve and fuckin SHOULDVE”

I’ll be honest with ya lads, I stand by every word of this cfvgbhnjkgvbhnj